We as Human Beings seek Somebody to like us and if Nobody did like us then we become some what abnormal. Actually even when Nobody did Like us we still can be Normal
Nobody Likes Me! Where did we get this and why it matters?
It is deeply rooted in our genetics and evolutionary mindset to be a part of some tribe or to be a part of something worthy.
This likability trend is followed for generations, and our evolution is profound proof of this apprehension.
We are social animals, and we like the feel of belonging together.
To be isolated is a curse. We always want to be loved and cared for. This frame of mind is the inheritance of all human beings, and this nature has, in turn, broken the barriers of communication between nations that we may stand together to fight or stand together to love one another.
Nobody Likes Me and its Association with our Happiness
Not to be liked by others is becoming a significant standpoint in our happiness.
Many have understood this most crucial psychological factor and we are at the mercy of large social media sites, where number of likes is determining our self worth in today’s likability affected zombie culture.
But has anyone really understood why we all need to be liked, and why can’t we live without being acknowledged and accepted by everyone?
The never-ending need to be validated:
Have you ever seen your face in the mirror when someone tells you that you have done an excellent job or a pure appreciation that you have done something worthwhile?
Validation is one of the necessities of our existence. Have you felt the craving for acceptance by someone just like a craving for nicotine? Even smokers can stop smoking, yet the need to feel validated is very deeply ingrained in our minds.
The word NO can have a devastating effect on every one of us?
I have heard the notion these days that I am authentic, and I don’t need other’s approval for my survival!. How many of us can genuinely swear that I am what I am, and I am not what I want him to be?
Self-validation can solve many of the underlying problems.
What would happen if my boss does not recognize my skill set?
- What would happen if my parents don’t see my creativity?
- What would happen if I fail in my first public speaking?
- What would happen if I fail in my first startup?
- What if no one likes my pictures I post on Facebook and Instagram?
Most probably nothing, of course; it is their option to like me or not, and its never ever in my control to dictate their likes because they can do anything with their own likability factor!
Trying to make others like you or love you is just a superficial goal where there is no beginning and no end.So, now how much energy are you really spending when you try to force change someone who dislikes you?
Just imagine your Life to be a coin where likability is heads and unlikability is the tail, when you toss the coin how many times can you predict heads will only come and fall in your hands. It’s profoundly foolish to anticipate this scenario other than if something is really wrong with you! But understand at times TAIL will also be the benefaction factor in winning the game!
Nobody Likes Me and the Courage to Accept It
It requires profound courage to accept this truth firmly, but once approved, your Life will start shining like the brightest Sun, which keeps shining irrespective of the people’s complaints that it is too hot!
Shine like the Sun my friend no matter what! Now what to do when you see unlikability around you?
When someone shoves the mud of unlikability on you, turn your attention inward rather than pursuing emphasis for their approval.
Look at the core values for your likability -are you treating the other person like how you want to be treated? When someone speaks, are you listening with your physical ear and your mental ear, which is your mind?
Are you willing to be compassionate?
Are you kind and respectful toward others?
If you suck in the above parameters, then if you feel others suck because they don’t like, you are keeping a pig in front of the mirror and expecting it to look like a dog!
It would help if you remember that almost everyone has grave errors in their own judgment,
Some people are enveloped in all kinds of biases, which can never be taken away from them like bias toward color, caste, and religion. Don’t expect them to like you, you should be unlikable in their eyes!
Then the most important, When most people do not have the time to like themselves, expecting them to like you is silly. So be happy for yourself no matter whatever you are, and however, you are!